Some people lose their individuality when in a relationship, and once they realize this, they feel like they need some space for themselves. Required fields are marked *, document.getElementById("comment").setAttribute( "id", "a677f012021b67362694459dc842c709" );document.getElementById("b95876403b").setAttribute( "id", "comment" );Comment *. i break up with my girlfriend 1 month ago.im 27 yo and she 20 yo. Apollonia. Best, In order for me to help you a bit further, I encourage you to reach out here for a private coaching session. She responded with Ill let you know when Im ready. I felt really unsecure about everything once she kept voicing concerns but wanted to reassure her nothing of the sort would happen and I wasnt like other men. She cannot move to another place because of her job. I find it difficult to not message at all, which I guess is also a problem. The thing about this is setting the right boundaries at the beginning of the relationship so she understands the idea of respect. I am so confused after all I have done for this lady, as well as my ex not even wanting to hear my side. and tried to change her mind, but still not effective. We would talk every two or three days and Id text her and see how shes doing and what not and shed tell me that shed have some good days, but also lots of bad days. As if she is softening to me again. On the relationship we discovered we were both virgins which we were happy about because we knew there wouldnt be any pressure from each other to meet expectations, of course we did things and made up but during those 5 months we never engaged on a relationship, she had told me she wanted to but felt insecure and I made sure to let her know that there was no pressure from my side, that I want to be with her as a person and that I wasnt with her just because of how she looked. We even discussed going travelling together for a couple of months. My fiance of 5 years recently initiated a separation. as well when I asked if she just wanted space or what, she mentioned that she just does not know what she wants and said we can chat if you want but if you dont want to thats fine and I understand. I would love to do the coaching but I cant afford to at the moment. This is a powerful part of your relationship. I again replied ok if thats what you really need. So who are you to question me like this? I think its important that you show her you want to support her when it comes to life things. This is something to pay attention to as the relationship progresses. Best of luck with everything. 1 week passed by and she messaged me and we talked for 2 days straight and now were not currently speaking as maybe she went back to her space and I just found out recently that she deactivated her facebook account ONLY but kept the messenger open. I have been slowly working on changing my attitude with my struggles and am starting to incorporate some positive behaviors. I could tell she was really into me. Apollonia, MN I then told her that if she needs anything let me know Im here for her is you want to talk about anything. Everything was great! Error message | View complete answer on https://beyondages.com Does giving a girl time and space work? She hasnt completely shut the door on me because she last said that she cared about me and that shes here if I need to talk to her and that shes worried about me. Its not been 2 months Of us trying to figure it out and basically for her to see if she wants to make it work. Hello Apollonia. Even though I live in apartment we share our checks and Bills in the same account. Online and she came to me first. Im going to focus on myself for sure (after I quit being depressed about this) and work on my physical and mental health. She will be busy since she has to stay there for at least 1 whole year and Im not sure if I can be strong to wait for her response from then. My GF has cancer and depression and we took a break before. The right thing to do is give her space and back away. As of last night she decided to move back into her parents home for 2 weeks to have some space from me whilst she tries to work out how she is feeling. Best, Im working on fixing that. What should be my next steps? . From Wednesday we did not talk. Shes still been spending time with friends, going out with her friends etc and we have not had any argument at all.. she said she only broke up with her ex boyfriend a couple of weeks before first seeing me so needs time to figure herself out and Space to work on herself.. She is in stressed at work feels like she is the one doing everything in the relationship. Thank you for your answer (: Hello Francis, When you explore the relationship as discussed in tip #2, are you being overly affectionate, or too available for her? Since then i am not feeling good, i cried several times as everything reminds me of her. She has been talking with me for 2 months but i cant find that girl who i loved. And she knows it. Im so sorry that happened. I saw her last weekend, have conversation with her friends but not with her (my bad maybe I was suppose to say hello only). We saw each other once when she came by the house to drop off a key, had a couple huggs and a couple kisses then she left, At this point shes been gone two weeks, so I text and asked if she would like to go out for dinner she said no it was too soon, My heart got the best of me so I apologized the next morning and told her I will leave her be from here on end. We work on dating and relationship skills with Apollonia and her team. I dont want to tell her that my marriage is on the rocks already even before i met her. Trouble is shes a friend first and I cannot understand why shes asked me to give her space to clear her head but sees her ex boyfriend regularly! I wrote this content by interviewing SEVERAL women! I was dating a girl that I fell in love with. I am very much hurt and dont know how will i get over it. She told me that she is unhappy with herself, she wants to go back to school, and wants to work on being happy in her own skin and wanted to get a trainer to fix that (my parents had told me that it looked like she was putting on weight). My girlfriend and i have been dating for almost 2 months and asked me yesterday to give her space (for a week) basically because she wants a weekend to herself, is feeling overwhelmed, and is tired mainly because i think its because of her work schedule. I have been with this girl for 6 Months now but she started loosing the excitement in the relationship i asked her she said shes doesnt love me the way I love her that she needs a break I have given her the break Im feeling Im loosing her I dont want to loose her my heart loves her What do I do. I admit that i was not spending time with my friends and doing things separate and therefore, one week ago, she told me she wants to break up because she needs her space right now, she said she feels she lost herself and she did not follow her wants, maybe i will not come back she said and moved to a hotel, found a flat and will move there. Nothing too intense and it was great and fun and good She said she doesnt want to live with me and feels like the past 5 yrs has been a waste. I want to take her out, we havent been out for years alone together, but it never seems to work out, either not enough money or no babysitter. There is nothing more attractive to a woman than a man understanding precisely what she wants and needs. Im feeling lots of things right now, but theyre no longer really how can I help her become a better version of herself, and instead they are more like I miss what we had and I miss her. Im gonna fly down to her when she is ready to give our love a new try. I am the main bread winner in the house. Maybe you are watching TV, and she does not want to talk at that moment because she wants to zone out. During her stay I had lost my job as well but got another one within a few weeks and had CPS notified due to slandering but was cleared up so I was stressed as well. I agreed with her and said Im here for her whatever happens and all, I think the best is to be supportive? From all of this shes reached out to me once about a second job she got I congratulated her and left it at that. She will come back. She made it clear shes not interested even though her friends are constantly pushing her to experiment and try new things. ive known my girlfriend now for more than a year we were basically bestfriends before we became a couple , the first month or so was great we skipped so steps because we knew a lot of stuff about each other , but lately i noticed that shes avoiding me , doesnt want to meet me for dates and always brings some excuses and i become to realize that i was being needy sometimes , but the problem is that she is the type of a person that likes to be free most of the time, wants to meet once a week basically wants her space a lot and once ive noticed this ive pulled back before she says she needs her space , i love her a lot and i want this to work so how can i maintain a healthy relationship giving that i believe that spending time together with the person you love will make her care more and fall more for me ? I read a lot of your blogs and I have a question. It seems like theres a lot to unpack here. I know this is a difficult time for you and I know it can be very overwhelming. I had a feeling after the divorce she would want some sort of freedom bc she was with him since college. She said shes still here for me, and we can still be good friends if Id like. I understand the win-win situation of it also and I agree with it. Some may need a few weeks, while others may need a few months. My girlfriend and I have been together for almost 3 years and weve had our ups and downs (I broke up with her for 6 weeks about 2 years ago because we didnt seem happy like we used to). I guess Ill just give her space and see what happens. Ive even booked a flight to los angeles for some time alone. Im trying to focus on me and doing things with my friends, but my heart and body wants to reach out to her to make sure shes okay. Shes told me she needs space, which Ive been pretty awful at giving her that until now. We would see each other over the weekend sometimes difficult bc of exhusband not picking up son. Apollonia, Hey so my girlfriend and I had a huge fight recently. Am I risking us growing apart by simple not reaching out or even doing anything, except working on myself? I felt like she wasnt showing any emotion so I addressed it one day, and she broke it off and said she needed time and space to better herself. I said many things to her. If you would like to book a private session please reach out to me so we can discuss this further and I can help. She said she needs 2 weeks space to get her head straight about things, the relationship, how much we both want it. If Im being honest, Ive had doubts about our compatibility in the past, but shes very attractive, really a kind person with a great sense of crass humor. Best of luck and take care! I come over on Fridays, Saturdays, and Sundays. Shes says she loves me. Best, My friend called her and she told her yes she still loves me but she dont believe I can change and that I should look for another girl. Tip # 3 Become confident and happy. Hello Jayshawn, I confronted her and she asked for space. I want to talk to her every waking minute . https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ By setting boundaries and telling her you cannot continue to pick her up when she falls, you can help her own her responsibilities and create more balance. All you can do keep being you and keep going. Hope this helps! We only sent a few messages and she never replied to the last. Apollonia. Never really had any problems. Hey Apollonia, She would constantly blame herself for not being able to appreciate me and hurting me instead. Thank you for taking the time to read when she says she needs spacde. You were there for her, you showed her affection, you spent time with her, and gave her almost everything she wanted. She invited me back to her place (albeit to look at an issue with the house and her housemate was in) and weve agreed to do more drinks. But I also know she wouldnt cheat on me or anything, the same how I would not do that to her (shes been cheated on by her previous BFs). The way we as men should communicate during space. After reading your article, am i trying to hard right now? What can I do please help, am afraid that she will leave me, or she is losing feelings for me, or if I gave her space she will get a chance to forger about me, because she even changed how she save me in her phone. The worst part is that from that relationship she now suffers from ptsd and depression. She also mentioned that she feels like maybe she was in her feelings in the moment when we talked about moving in together, meeting and talking about me to her parents and getting to meet them. Apollonia, Your comment heremy girlfriend asked for space cos we havent seen each other for 10 months but we communicate well even though I do most of the conversation The only thing that I would say differently is to stop doubting your friendship and relationship with her. I didnt think there was anything wrong since everything was amicable, but I didnt say anything after. I cant tell you if there is another chance as I cannot predict the future. You doing this will ruin the relationship. But I find myself having hard time with as well but trying not to let that show around her. It is suddenly happen after i was hanging out with her. Ive also decided to stop posting on Instagram as well to fully not contact her. She have always been in doubt in this relationship, doubt about is she contended, is she happy with me, is this what she really want. And her mom is devastated. Scared of her being suicidal or most people think cheating, but I really do trust her and doing think like that. Best, Ive known her for about two and half months and weve havent been Abel to stay away from each other for more than two days. Yesterday she said want to see me or speak to me. Has been going through menopause for a year now, and I was worried a midlife crisis may come on and this happens. Also, start to do things that will keep you busy during this time. I know this might not elicit a reply, but tried to take the advice when a girl i liked asked me to give her space. Apollonia, hi apollonia! We spend quality time and our relationship got serious, now shes considering move here with me or breakup with me. During our last couple days together, things felt off balance. So was like why now, and she was clear with her decision, but later added that you can just pay me the money but wont ask you to. Shes missing you even more because youre right there in front of her. Appreciated. Apollonia, Highest greetings seen your videos great impactful work you do, My question is Although the last message wasnt really a question or anything. Its only been 1 week but how do I come up about this while wanting to be with her for the rest of my life but honoring the space? She stated she gets in these moods where she just simply wants to shut everyone out. Just from your comment, it might seem as though you are too available for her and emotionally dependent on her. During this time find some things that will bring you happiness, keep busy, and work on the reasons why you may be overbearing. should I just move on and accept that I lost her? I would highly suggest you book a coaching call with me because I really want t work this out with you and get to the root of the problem here. Let her start to initiate hanging out with you. sorry i havent replied ive been chasing children all day i hope youve had a good day)at 9.03pm i said (mine was pretty good yours?) She feels obligated to help her niece and is always doing things for them. Its hard for me to help your relationship just with a comment but I know you can get incredible results if we work together. Its a month gone now and I feel deeply pained. We would see each At my house only. Everything was going great and maybe i put to much pressure on her and she now said she wasnt sure she would feel like we did when we first went out. It seems like you might be a little too affectionate with her right now. Reach Attached by Amir Levine and do 30 days no contact. You want to be able to show her what you are willing and not willing to tolerate. Hey, Ive been in a relationship with this girl for 2yrs now she said she needed time time apart to work on yourself course she feels she like she has lost herself in our relationship and she cant be alone anymore without me she doesnt wanna feel like she cant live without me, she said she doesnt want a relationship and suggested i should move on what should I do course I still love her and I want to be with her is there any chances of us being together? My question is how bad does this look and what should I do? I do love this woman, but i am scared ive pushed her to her breaking point. As I read your article. Good luck! I really love her from the bottom of my heart. Hello Apollonia, she was in year 1 while I was in my finals in the University, we got to meet before the Corona break and I took her number and we started getting close and finally started dating by September. Dont enable bad behavior and if you havent yet start following our youtube videos, Start with this one https://youtu.be/5HYuv6GyIrs. So ever since this Covid-19 started I noticed she started to talk less and less and when I brought it up she said we were fine and to Nevermind then her mother noticed and asked if she was okay n asked if she was depressed. what should i do if theres another guy having interest with my girl? Best, Apollonia. so I say heard u had a 4 way sleepover with 4 guys I know did u enjoy the sex. That is the first thing. She is very upset at the moment after a misunderstanding last night, she believes we dont share the same values and following in to today she said she wanted space. So my 2 cents, live life in happiness and abundance with our without her (famous U2 song), and keep moving forward. It is LDR which adds more stress, of course. At first she pretty much said we are done and over but needs space but head over heels in love. My gf is 45years old. or am I just supposed to suck it up and be a man. She mentioned it because her ex is a co worker of hers that she always sees and she regrets ever doing it; her cousins and I are close so its also why she mentioned it. So, the best thing you can do is focus on you and do things that make you happy, surround yourself around people that make you happy and wait for her to reach out. Dont forget about your standards and be aware of how people are treating you to refocus on your personal growth. She then says she needs space so I said ok. Well she would txt me goodnight and goodmorning and how my day was going. We developed love, affection, and intimacy for each other due to our sexual life and the feelings we got for each other. My girlfriend of 8 months (both our longest relationships) recently went distant a week ago and a few days after wanted to talk. In the meantime, focus back on yourself! https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching-2/ I asked, should we just end the relationship. Focus on fulfilling your life. I have included a blog for your guidance. Hi Mario, Last 2 months we had some issues and kept fighting and I felt this relationship does not make me complete so 2 days after she left my country I broke up with her. Thats why she wanted to break up. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ But the thing you have to not do is influence the pain by looking at her stories. She gave me her hand at the end and i told her that i only came to explain that i wasnt upset with her. Hello I have recently starting to see my ex again who became overwhelmed with lock down and convinced herself I didnt love her. What I would suggest is to figure out what made the both of you break up and start from there. Ive never loved someone as much as her, and I feel like Im making a huge mistake not talking to her. I dated a girl I met online for about 2 and a half months. And if I text her first what should I tell her ? However, one day she was so bummed out. Weve been intimate from the start and spend a lot of time together Im from the Caribbean so theres a bit of a difference in perspective lately Ive been experiencing the grumph and snapy attitude and heard her say she needs her space on more than one occasion recently she said shes been overwhelmed, so I asked what are we doing and she says we are still getting to know each other to see if this is something she want. I think we both started feeling love for each other after a few months. Great article! Lj, Hi Smith, Its up to her to be able to walk through her fears and anxieties and go to you and talk to you about them and be open again. my family requested for all of the engagement gifts along with the ring I gave her, to be returned. I really have enjoyed Apollonias articles concerning my situations and they have been helpful. This is going to be vital if you want to get her back. Apollonia, Hi Apollonia, I encourage you to book a session with me so I can help you further as I would need more information. During the next couple weeks I was working on better myself and overall attitude. You were correct! Or she thought you ignored her. Hey Adam. Then in the evening I texted her I was giving her the space she needed and for her to let me know when she wanted to see me again. This podcast is here to help inspire you in your life and better understand your relationships so you can maximize the potential of your love life along with your personal life. As humans sometimes when we are feeling a little overwhelmed we can lash out and just need some time to gather ourselves and it seems, to me at least, like that could be whats going on. Coincidentally this was the same day we had plans to go to an event together. It really feels uncomfortable the moment she said she needed space but I really really want to help her get over it. I try to have a conversation with her and shes on her phone reading articles. Her Ex. https://www.apolloniaponti.com/private-coaching/ online My girlfriend broke up with me because she didnt feel comfortable with being in different years at school and wants time and space alone to try and change her mentality. Thank you so much for taking the time to read my blog When She Says She Needs Space, heres what to do and for sharing in depth your story with me. However, Im slightly confused on exactly how to handle my situation because I have read two of her articles on space and one thing was contradictory. Things were going great and she proposed to me but I wasnt ready yet and I said yes. Best, Any tips or advise as Im giving her space but feel shes not missing me as she sees me every day in the office ? She has no immediate family members like a mom or dad to support her, no siblings and 21 year daughter that lives with her. So what red flags can you think of that showed you she was possibly not ready for a relationship if any. We talked for about 30 mins and she said you seem happier. Unless this is what you truly want? I completely understood that, as its kind of what my conclusions came to. I told her on that call that I went into a quarantine slump and wasnt myself and was working on myself as well. Gaining control back will be big for you. Her name is Apollonia Ponti. Am lost. Im having a tough time with it because obviously I feel like Im losing her.. and its scary. ehh. Hi There, Hi apollonia, Ive been with this girl for about 3 months and recently, I knew she was going through a tough time and I wanted to talk to her after school, she ignored me and started walking home so I walked with her and tried talking to her about it, I do feel like I was trying a little too hard and Im worried because she said she needed space and that she didnt need a relationship right now, we eventually got to her house and she told me she was going through alot and she slammed the door in my face. They seem uninterested. We were so good together, and she acknowledges that but maintains its just too soon. I gave her space, just a simple hows it going message a day and thats it. Thank you for taking the time to read When She Says She Needs Space. This is my first relationship so I am very confused as to why this happened when even she seemed very happy and how I should act. We havent texted all day and I just dont know what to do or how to feel. Talking my friends all day and started working out again, i have told her from the moment we were discussing about it that I know where i was wrong and i showed her that im changing things. For example, I need space because I need time to take care of myself .. I guess that if she does move on then she never truly cared about me. But Im doing the work I told her I would. Travel somewhere for a quick getaway weekend and explore the city.
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